A story based upon a real life event. A woman who lived in a man's closet for a year.

Rough Draft: http://www.mediafire.com/?ydhcl9q33wpc8a8
Current Draft: http://www.mediafire.com/?jjjajtbwuubh4cg

Krow.. I need you to peer edit it haha

Went up to me -><- Came up to me
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Akemi, in a moment full of rage, pushed her boss. However, behind the boss was a set of stairs, and the boss tumbled down the stairs. Then at the bottom of the stairs, the boss was screaming in agony.He didn’t move much, but it was clear he was in a lot of pain. -><-
Akemi , in a moment full of rage , pushed her boss.However , behind him were stairs.Then there he was , at the bottom of the stairs he was screaming in agony.He didn't move much , but it was clear he was in a lot of pain after the long fall.
***Just to destroy the repetitive shit(such as using the boss 4 in a short amount of time.***
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If I was in your shoes -><- If I were in your shoes
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When Akemi would be able to get out of prison,-><-When Akemi would get out of prison
**Not really her choice**
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One day, she noticed a man leaving a house leaving the door unlocked. -><- One day , she noticed a man was leaving his house, leaving/letting the door unlocked
***To avoid repetition***
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It was almost winter, and although it didn’t snow much, it got really cold in these areas.-><-It was almost winter, and although it didn’t snow much, it got really cold in those areas.
***I think those fits better , not sure though***
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She stumbled along until she found the kitchen, and saw that it was the cleanest place she has seen so far.-><-She stumbled along until she found the kitchen, and saw that it was the cleanest place she had seen so far.
***Not sure again***
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The weather was cold out, and the house felt like a paradise.-><-The weather was cold outside, and the house felt like a paradise.
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She had found an area in a closet that led to the attic. She brought a blanket with her, and laid on the attic thinking about everything she has lost.-><-She had found an area in a closet that led to the attic. She brought a blanket with her, and laid down thinking about everything she has lost.
***REPETITION AVOIDED LIKE A BAWS***
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She started to cry until her eyelids felt heavy.-><-She started crying until her eyelids felt heavy.
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Hours past -><-Hours have passed
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It was the start of a new life that she hope she would be able to enjoy for a very long time.-><-It was the start of a new life that she hoped she would be able to enjoy for a very long time.
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Things were going great until one day where she had a close call.

The day started out like any other day. I waited for Yamamoto to leave before starting her day. Once he left, I started her daily routine. I ate, took a shower, and watched TV. However, this time around, my joyous day would come to end.-><-Things were going great until one day where Akemi had a close call:

The day started out like any other day. I waited for Yamamoto to leave before starting my day. Once he left, I started my daily routine. I ate, took a shower, and watched TV. However, this time around, my joyous day would come to end.
**To make the transition between 3rd and 1st person**
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Had a hard time doing this ^_^